{SOMEWHERE OVER THE RAINBOW.}

Friday, August 03, 2007

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If you have told the truth, do not fear of punishment. And if you have not, I appeal for you to do so. It is better than living in the shadow of your mistakes. In the rear view mirror, you can see your wrong doings even though others don't. Do you know that just because of a deliberate lie from Suzie, she has hurt many feelings and Ms Tay's especially. She was emotionally disturbed that our class just pushed the blame to her when we did wrong. She was disappointed and it was apparent from the look on her face. I knew Ms Tay doesn't deserve this. That's why I told her the truth about what the class was watching. She was grateful to ZiYu and I. I am glad I have told her the truth and cheered her up a little with the knowledge that someone still cares for her. She discussed the matter with us and her feelings were expressed clearly from her uncharacteristically animated actions as well as the look on her face. Her voice was quavering and she looked as though she was going to cry. Poor thing. I prayed that she didn't cry in front of all of us. And my prayer was answered. I don't want her to feel worse than she already is. I empathise with her because the last time the class was all against me and I couldn't talk without allowing people to look beyond my smiling demeanour. The look on her face pains me.

After assembly, we were reprimanded as a class before those who were involved were scolded a second time. Ms Tay was there, looking real uneasy. She kept looking down. Mr Lau found out that we were not watching what Ms Tay showed us, and said that it was disrespectful to drop anyone's name to make them the fall gal. He was furious that we deceived him on purpose and even did not dare to own up. I can't believe how cold blooded Suzie is. She can push all the muck to Ms Tay and still deny vehemently that she was not the one. And she doesn't see what's wrong with implicating Ms Tay. She can lie without batting an eyelid. Ms Tay once told me about how some people do wrong and push their conscience away. I guess it would be an apt description of what Suzie did. I am proud that Ms Tay did the right thing to tell Mr Lau the truth of what we told her. She knew that I knew she told. She gave me that funny look as if saying 'I had to tell...'. It is a relief that she told the truth because subconsciously I wanted her to tell Mr Lau the truth, jus that I couldn't bring myself to it. I am not courageous enough. But I have learnt how to stay calm and not look emotionally disturbed when getting scolded. Many people were sniffing or on the verge of breaking down. We wrote our statements and I wrote all that I knew. Including the part where I told Ms Tay.

I actually had a lot to say to Ms Tay, jus that the time wasn't right and by the time I felt brave enough to say something, Mr D. told me that she had gone for a meeting which was gonna be long. He asked if I had a message to pass to her. I said yeah but I had to tell her privately. He said ok. In the end, by God's grace, I saw him again walking towards the Staff Room.I called out to him and told him that I would like him to pass a message to Ms Tay. I told him to tell Ms Tay that Magdalene says sorry for being so dramatic yesterday and I wanted to apologise to her on behalf of the class. He nodded and knew I had more to say. I jus couldn't bring myself to say more. When I see Ms Tay on Monday, I will jus apologise again coz I dunno how many times must I apologise to show I really am. The world is much too complicated for 13 years and 4 days old kid. I realised that when I grow older, 'sorry' isn't the hardest word to say. Mebbe it's because I didn't tell her face to face. I will challenge myself to say that to her. Nono. I have done enough. I don't want to appear to be so guilty when I am not. I am gonna forget about what happened and still talk to Ms Tay normally. This things take time. Don't rush this. It may be overwhelming for Ms Tay at first but let's give her time. Time is the best healer of wounds. I sound matured suddenly. So long for being 13 and 4 days old.

I was just wondering if knowledge hurts more than ignorance. If Ms Tay hadn't found out that Suzie implicated her, will she be as hurt? Or will she be hurt because she took our class' rap? Is sacrifice better than saving your own skin?? I really dunno. I wanted to ask her face to face but I just realised I would be awfully frank again. I hope I quit being so frank. I HATE BEING FRANK. I HATE WEARING MY HEART ON MY SLEEVE AND LETTING THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD KNOW WHEN I AM UPSET. MAG, quit your straight-from-heart self. It doesn't work in the 21st century. BTW, if you have any objections about me trying to quit this 'heartfeltness', save your breath. I have made up my mind to play in life's eternal masquerade. byebye the too-frank-for-good MAG. I won't miss you.

I have decided not to sign the sorry card to Ms Tay coz my conscience is clear and I see no need to apologise again and again. Jus prove to Ms Tay through our actions. Start small like cleaning up the classroom, showing her respect and being more friendly and warm to her. Many people are still very hostile to her.Plus Ms Leong wants me to tell the class that MS TAY DID NOT CAUSE MS LEONG TO LEAVE. LEAVING WAS ON MS LEONG'S OWN ACCORD. So don't make life difficult for Ms Tay. Jus try emphathising with her.

3:27 PM;

N {La Voisine}

Missy Magdalene
Tracker
Long Jumper
Triple Jumper
Aspiring heart surgeon or lawyer
Confident dudette
Spastic dudette
Dreamer

N {Loves}

I love:

HIM
Vongole
My Friends
Sleeping
Wishing upon a star that never shines
Rock Music

N {From the Heart}

""Love Story"

We were both young, when I first saw you.
I close my eyes and the flashback starts-
I'm standing there, on a balcony in summer air.

I see the lights; see the party, the ball gowns.
I see you make your way through the crowd-
You say hello, little did I know...

That you were Romeo, you were throwing pebbles-
And my daddy said "stay away from Juliet"-
And I was crying on the staircase-
begging you please don't go...
And I said...

Romeo take me somewhere, we can be alone.
I'll be waiting; all there's left to do is run.
You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess,
It's a love story, baby, just say yes.

So I sneak out to the garden to see you.
We keep quiet, because we're dead if they knew-
So close your eyes... escape this town for a little while.
Oh, Oh.

Cause you were Romeo - I was a scarlet letter,
And my daddy said "stay away from Juliet" -
but you were everything to me-
I was begging you, please don't go-
And I said...

Romeo take me somewhere, we can be alone.
I'll be waiting; all there's left to do is run.
You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess.
It's a love story, baby, just say yes-

Romeo save me, they're trying to tell me how to feel.
This love is difficult, but it's real.
Don't be afraid, we'll make it out of this mess.
It's a love story, baby, just say yes.
Oh, Oh.

I got tired of waiting.
Wondering if you were ever coming around.
My faith in you was fading-
When I met you on the outskirts of town.
And I said...
Romeo save me, I've been feeling so alone.
I keep waiting, for you but you never come.
Is this in my head, I don't know what to think-
He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring and said...

Marry me Juliet, you'll never have to be alone.
I love you, and that's all I really know.
I talked to your dad -- go pick out a white dress
It's a love story, baby just say... yes.
Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh.

'cause we were both young when i first saw you

N {Escapes}

Adeline

Angie

Charlene

6D Class Blog

Christine

Dharini

Grace

Guan Rong

Hannah

Hemin

Hsiao Fong